16/07/16 Review: Leek Town vs Macclesfield Town

Leek Town 1-3 Macclesfield Town (Pre-season Friendly)

Harrison Park

Saturday 16th July was the first day of my annual leave and it was without a doubt a day to relax, a day to make plans for my week off and maybe even a day to make an unexpected trip to Leek to see the Silkmen in action. The reason this trip was unexpected was because I had a call from my friend Will, who lives in East Yorkshire, at about 10:30am to say that he had drove to Buxton and was en-route to Harrison Park to see the match. When asked if I fancied accompanying him, I simply couldn't refuse.

The lad travelled 140 miles for this one, I joined him from Stoke

With a 2pm kick-off in store for my first outing to Harrison Park since I watched them thrash Daventry Town 5-1 back in October last season, in a trip that featured a brief encounter with Eric Bristow, I must admit that I was looking forward to another chance to see my beloved Macclesfield Town. After a good natter with Will, we arrived at Harrison Park in good time for a pint and headed straight into the clubhouse. Upon entry, we were approached by a Macc fan who asked us why we hadn't purchased our new Silkmen tops yet. Another fan then joked with him saying that he shouldn't have bothered wearing it today, noting that Leek Town also play in blue and therefore assuming we'd be in our white away strip. More on this soon enough.

Nice and early, time to grab a pie!

With prior knowledge of this ground, I made a beeline for the Wright's Pies counter and helped myself to a Meat and Potato, a true bonus of any Stoke-surrounded football ground. We then took up a place indoors as the light rain drizzled down. The friendly barman served us, joking that prices were double for Macc fans. Venturing slightly off-topic, I must remember at some point to write a separate Blog entry based on the qwerky and friendly bar staff I've encountered on my travels. The chap at The Lawns, Cribbs is amongst some of the places where the pint poured is as memorable as the match it accompanied. The legend running this aft's bar had not only provided a good chat about Leek's 0-2 defeat against Burton Albion and told us about the struggles of being a non-league club in a small town, but he'd also refilled Will's pint for free for him after he spilt all over the place.

And by all over the place, I do of course mean all over my leg!

Foolish pint-spilling antics aside, we drank up and headed out to pitch-side so that I could at least pretend that the wet patch was caused by the weather. With the team-sheets ready, we looked and saw a few new names for Macc. New lad Kingsley James, who featured for Halifax Town in the non-league finals day at Wembley, was one of two that I couldn't wait to see. The other, returning to the club for much anticipated second spell, was Jack Mackreth. I was hoping to see a win and a clean sheet for the Silkmen, and so had predicted a 2-0 win and hopefully a goal for Jack Mack to round off a good afternoon.

Game on

I must now reverse back to early on when I'd mentioned the joke about the old guy wearing his new blue kit. The significance of this is that when the teams came out, Macc were in fact dressed in a blue and white strip, and for some reason the home side had to make do with playing in a gold and black outfit. I'm assuming that this was not a usual playing colour for Leek Town, aka THE BLUES, as the loudspeaker announcer spoke out, "for anyone who hasn't seen us play in yellow and black before, we are in those colours." This wasn't the first time this week that the announcer had raised a laugh amongst fans, with a Heath Hayes announcer on Thursday clarifying that the match was 11-a-side. I know.

Charlie would've been gutted to see the Blues playing in yellow

Joking aside, the game kicked-off and we took a standing spot near half-way, next to a gent from Chesterfield. Being the chatty folk that we are, we got talking to him and it turned out that his son, Ryan Duffy-McGuire, was on trial with Leek and was starting on the bench. I spent a few minutes telling him that Leek Town was a nice little club, which it is, and then we moved on to another topic. Macc's top-scorer from last season and one of my all time Silkmen favourites, Kristian Dennis, made the big jump up to League One and with Chesterfield nonetheless. He was quizzing us all about him and after talking him up to the Spireites season ticket holder, we closed the conversation by stating that if he flops in the height of Football League, I'm sure most Macc fans would have him back in an instant. Amongst all the chatting, we had not been distracted from the action on the pitch and Macc were playing pretty well so far. Trialist Ollie Norburn was pulling the strings and we didn't have to wait too long for the opening goal. Jack Mackreth made the goal from the left-wing as he played a simple ball into the box which was calmly met by the onrushing Danny Whitaker. Leek 0-1 Macc. The Chesterfield fan turned to us shortly after and said that had he not had prior knowledge, he'd have thought that Macc were the Championship side and not Tuesday's opponents. I'm sure Burton probably weren't playing a full starting XI, but when you're a Macc fan you take the compliments from anywhere. It was true to say that we looked classy so far though, and before the half-hour mark the lead was doubled. With a cross this time from the right, Norburn made himself a bit of space and tucked in from the far post against a fairly stationary Leek Town defence. Leek 0-2 Macc. The second goal seemed to spring some action into the home side, and player/manager Ant Danylyk almost saw his side grab a goal on the stroke of half-time as the right-back surged into the box and almost forged a chance for the Leek striker. As it was though, Macc would go into the break with a comfortable lead, one which Sutherland almost extended when he clipped the ball on to the bar from 25-yards. Perhaps it was time for a couple more trialists to get a run out before the big game on Wednesday against Wigan?

Macc were in the hot-seat at half-time

Half-time was spent in a fairly busy clubhouse where I overheard 3 older gents discussing the premise of Pokemon Go. I suspect that they weren't too impressed, as they walked back out to pitch side soon after concluding the chat. We weren't in a rush to get back out there, the rain was still fluttering down and the prospect of a much changed side in the second-half would surely make the game's tempo die down after a solid first 45. Alas, we headed back out having missed the first 5 minutes of the second-half, and we were just in time for the third goal of the afternoon. Jack Sampson picked up the ball on the halfway line and ran almost unopposed into the Leek territory. He feigned a pass out-wide, before turning on to his left-boot and unleashing a solid 20-yard finish. It took a deflection off the defender, but it was a nice hit either way. Leek 0-3 Macc. Leek's player/manager decided that enough was enough, and brought himself into the fold to see if he could inject a bit more positive play into his side. Just before the hour, his side did get a chance handed to them as the referee deemed Dan Cowan to have shirt-tugged the Leek forward. Danylyk wasn't willing to take any chances and stepped up himself to send the keeper the wrong way and grab his team a goal. Leek 1-3 Macc.

The activity from the bench surpassed the action on the pitch in the final 30

With the game won for Macc, the subs began to flood from the bench and both sides gave a chance to trialists a plenty. There wasn't much else of note in the game aside from scouting of potential new players for John Askey, who even gave First-team Coach Byron Jenkins, yup, a run out for the final 10 minutes. With time running out for Leek and half of the coaching staff on the field, Leek's keeper gave a final shout out to the lads as he aggressively asked them, "are you lot gonna win an 'eader!?" which inevitably just brought about mockery from the away fans. Despite the keepers roar, there were to be no more goals and Macc took the victory this aft. With a great first-half and a more even second, filled with stoppages for trialists entering, it was a good look at the Silkmen and I'm sure that in spells the Leek fans won't have been too disappointed in what they saw. As we left, we said good bye to the Chesterfield fan and he informed us that his mate just texted him to say that Dennis had missed a sitter against Sheff Wednesday. Hopefully not a sign of things to come for the man who had a top season in 2015/16.

14/07/16 Review: Heath Hayes vs Brocton

Heath Hayes 3-1 Brocton (Pre-season Friendly)

Coppice Colliery Ground

Hello and welcome to the 1st Birthday edition of Pint of Football, with this entry coming exactly one year and 4,000 views on from my first. That's right, on Tuesday 15th July at 7:45pm I was sat in Palmerston Park, Dumfries Scotland, ready to begin watching a pre-season friendly between Queen of the South and Kilmarnock. A great game that ended 2-2 started off my Blogging frenzy, which has since seen me visit Harrison Park (Leek Town), Norton Lane (Hengrove Athletic), The Frost Financial Stadium (Canvey Island) and many, many more!

The Coppice Colliery Ground is the latest addition to the ever-growing list

On the anniversary of my first write-up, I absolutely had to get myself to a match- and I searched high and low to do so on this occasion! Back in mid-June I wrote down a few matches that I hoped to attend over the pre-season period and the one I'd originally earmarked for this fine summer's evening was Telford United vs Huddersfield. Unfortunately, this game didn't seem to be going ahead anymore, so on my lunch-break I frantically took to Twitter to find a match that I could get to within an hour of Stafford. After hitting up Brocton's page, I spotted that they had been mentioned by Midland League First Division side Heath Hayes as being their opponents for this evening. With no other information to go off (venue, kick-off time, price) I left Stafford at 6:45pm and hoped to arrive in time for 7:30pm. Gotta love the adventure!

A sight for sore eyes

Arriving in the Civil Parish just outside of Cannock Chase at 7:28pm, I promptly dumped my car roadside and paced down towards the big blue gate labelled "HHFC", where I was met by a friendly chap who sold me my ticket and a raffle ticket for the bargain price of £4. He obviously sensed my rush, and felt the need to clarify that kick-off wasn't actually until 7:45pm, which was music to my ears.

I made it with 10 minutes to spare- EASY!

The Coppice had many of the features that I love about a proper non-league ground. With £2 cans of Carling on sale in the "Farm Office", a mishmash of different styled stands along one side of the ground and work site fencing surrounding the rest of it, this was undoubtedly as bric-a-brac a ground as I'd seen in a long while (perhaps ever!). At time of arrival roughly two dozen locals had populated the ground, with a seemingly relaxed atmosphere on display amongst the young, the old, the pie-eaters and the unused players. I used the few minutes leading to kick-off to grab myself a classic meat pie before seeking out a spot to take in the game from.

With a choice of three stands side-by-side, I was well and truly spoilt

Having witnessed Brocton last season during a poor-run, I hadn't been too impressed with the Badgers display against a young Vale side. The Hayes, who were playing a division below that of their opponents, would no doubt look to get a positive result after an impressive 1-1 draw against Hednesford Town on Tuesday. All-in, I counted about 50 fans emerge from the woodwork at kick-off time and on que they were joined by the two teams. A muffled announcement appeared to announce the game as an "11-a-side match" as the Hayes and the Badgers stood ready to battle, and sure enough we were up and running.

A lovely backdrop is always a plus point when ground-hopping

Deep in this woodland surrounded area of Staffordshire, I was enjoying myself so far at the Coppice and it seemed like most of the fans were. With local clubs like Heath Hayes, it is always nice to earwig into some of the conversations going on in the background as pals meet up to watch the game, chill out and enjoy a bit of fresh air. One man was telling his friend about Sky are robbing the BBC of everything at the minute. His personal opinion was that it is Gary Linekar's fault and expects that Match of the Day will become a Sky-owned programme before long. Fair enough. On the pitch, Brocton had started in a dominant, albeit low-key, fashion and looked ready to cause the extra-large Heath Hayes keeper a few problems in the early proceedings. Without the cutting edge though, they could only work the ball into the wings unsuccessfully and fail to capitalise on some great bits of play from the Brocton number 6.

The Badgers had to settle for a couple of early set-pieces

As the referee's watched turned to the ten-minute mark, a goal was upcoming. Having predicted a close 2-1 win for Brocton before the game, I was certainly expecting the Heath to give it a go. A solid counter-attack involving a Zlatan Ibrahimovic lookalike eventually led to an easy finish for the Heath and an early opener which was partially greeted by somewhat excitement from the locals. Hayes 1-0 Brocton. With the deadlock broken, the game quickly restarted and Brocton went in again with the assertive play witnessed prior to the goal. The Brocton number 9 seemed most likely to score and made some great runs through the centre, but often his finish didn't match the play and he squandered a couple of half-chances. At the other end, Hayes Heath could've doubled the lead but for a fine save from the opposing keeper, and Brocton seemed capable of leaking goals when the defence was tested. One moment of frustration that stuck in my mind was when a Brocton foul was called after an advantage was not deemed to be given. The keeper for Heath Hayes, ball in hand, walked out to the edge of his area and shouted out "Ref, how long you playing advantage for?" to which the ref replied with, "As long as I want!"- and that was that.

The sun is shining, Heath Hayes is sweet

With half-time looming, I was beginning to wonder if Brocton would nick a goal with the pressure they'd put on HH. On 42 minutes, finally, the Badgers dug deep to grab a much needed equaliser. The aforementioned striker for Brocton rose above the defence to calmly steer home the goal from the winger who'd been pulling the strings. Hayes 1-1 Brocton. And with that, it was time for a break- half-time. After giving the ground a once over already, I decided to pop into the cabin to grab myself a chilled beverage and a bag of crisps. The queue was virtually non-existent and so I had time to mull over the events so far. I still fancied Brocton to grab a winner as they had the best of possession, but if the Heath were to breakaway on another sharp counter then you would fancy them to take the game.

The second-half was underway

The opening 15 minutes of the second-half was pretty relaxed, and by which I mean poor. So much so, that the fans around began to divert attention towards other things. Pokémon Go, in particular was on the mind of two lads, who appeared to be catching 'em all in an attempt to keep themselves entertained. Meanwhile over at the other end, a group of lads were stealing cigs from each other and running about with them. Thrilling stuff. As Brocton pushed into the final 30 minutes with an eye on the winner, the big man between the home sticks made a fine save to deny the Badgers from grabbing a second.

By this time the beer garden had well and truly closed

Wondering if the game would surge into life, my thoughts were finally realised in the 72nd minute. a Heath Hayes forward picked up the ball from a left-sided pass and from 18-yards he hit a supremely-placed striker into the back of the net to give the Hayes another goal on the counter. Hayes 2-1 Brocton. Brocton were down and out and despite efforts, again, to grab an equaliser for the second time, they instead fell foul to another cutting Heath Hayes counter. The number 15 for the Heath found himself unmarked and in a position to take advantage of the slack Brocton defending. A good finish was still required and that's exactly what was provided. Hayes 3-1 Brocton. With life all of a sudden injected into the game, Brocton almost conceded a fourth before eventually finding the net themselves. Unfortunately for the Badgers, this effort was correctly ruled offside and did not count. The player questioned the linesman's decision, and to follow-up on the ref's mouthy answer from the first-half, he told the striker "of course you were offside, you're behind the keeper!"

Is it just me, or are those floods green?

The game fizzled out to it's end and the ref called time. A decent, but not electrifying, game that Heath Hayes undoubtedly won on merit. Brocton on a good day would've hoped to be more lethal in-front of goal and were probably left envying the home-side's striking efficiency. It was a game where chances weren't exactly on tap, so the difference this evening was that one side took them, and the other didn't. On my exit from the ground, I overheard one Hayes player shouting to his teammates to ask who fancied a celebratory hot dog. Ahh, the food of winners.

On the whole Coppice Colliery Ground was, to the Old Trafford hipster or an Emirates snob, a jumble sale of a ground. To me, however, it was a result of hard-work and perhaps the odd car boot purchase. A ground that I'll certainly remember for years to come- even if not the game itself. As the subs took the nets down post-match, I exited to my car for the journey home. Goodbye Heath Hayes, and good luck for the season ahead.

There's nout wrong with utilising your space 

12/07/16 Review: Stafford Rangers vs Bolton Wanderers XI

Stafford Rangers 1-2 Bolton Wanderers XI (Pre-season Friendly)

Marston Road

After just over 5 weeks without football (excluding the 30+ matches I watched during the EURO's on TV), it was finally time to dust off my obscure football shirts, pull out my best outdoor shorts and lace up my trainers to get some pre-season on. That's right, the 2016/17 pre-season was up and running for Pint of Football and what better way to start it off than at Marston Road?

Optimism was in the air as the Wanderers were in town

Having visited Marston Road back in October last season with Partizan Bristle, I was this time accompanied by a friend who was watching her first ever match. After some pre-match explanations about what to expect from the game and also the general atmosphere of non-league football, I felt that we were prepared for a good fixture. Bolton's youngsters had already played a match against Radcliffe Borough and comfortably beaten them 6-0, whereas this was the Rangers first run out since training began last week and with a couple of new faces on the team-sheet the fans flocked in to see if the summer signings would show up.

Let's get ready to rumble

The talk of the fans pre-match was the anticipated friendly debut of Stafford-born, ex-Silkmen player Izak Reid. Having just joined his brother Levi at his home-town club, Stafford's faithful were hoping to have a new star within their realms. Bolton, on the other hand, were hoping that the stars of tomorrow were lining-up for this development squad that contained one key name. Will Jaaskelainen, son of Finnish legend Jussi, was stood between the sticks for Wanderers on this mild summer's eve, ready and willing to do all that he can to live up to his father's name. Bolton were a solid Premier League team in those days, but nevertheless it would still be an honour for him to forge a career with the now League One side. Whilst Wanderers were lamenting over relegation from the Championship in May, Stafford Rangers were of course buzzing with excitement having secured a last day title to win promotion from the Evo-Stik North to the Premier- and just one league away from the National League North. Despite these dreams to reach former heights though, the hard work had to come first and with a hungry group of youngsters standing in front of them in this first fixture, it certainly wasn't going to be plain sailing. As the players walked out underneath an announcement asking for the owner of a Silver Volvo to come outside and close his car windows, it was honestly a great feeling of being back at pitch-side. The game kicked-off and we were up and running! With a feisty start from Rangers containing more than a couple of fouls, the game finally settled into some sort of rhythm. One thing that I instantly noticed, and am still unsure of, was a small rectangular shape that sat underneath the upper section of the shirts of the away side. I have two theories; either all of the Bolton players were wearing some sort of health/fitness monitoring device, or they were all trying to hide receiver devices for a remote controller that somebody was using to control them all. Either way, pretty cool.

Marston Road looking pretty fine

The more that the game progressed, the more impressed I was with the willingness of both teams to get forward and have a go at the goal. With it being an early pre-season fixture, I had made a pre-match prediction of 0-0 and I soon foresaw that this would not be the case. Bolton made a strong break around the 15th minute and eventually Stafford's keeper did his best Joe Hart impression, allowing his initial attempt to save the ball to dribble just out of his grasp and into the goal. Rangers 0-1 Wanderers XI. This seemed to give Rangers the wake-up call they needed and they sprung into action after this early blow. Assertive play and free-flowing football from both sides was on the menu tonight, and new boy Izak Reid should have finished off a great move midway through the first half. He met a low cross in the area from the right, but unfortunately it didn't test the away keeper as it flew over the bar. Between half-chances from the home-side, there was some strong goalkeeping to witness from Jaaskelainen Jr, who plucked free-kicks and throw-ins out of the air, left, right and centre. Bolton seemed likely on the break though, and the man who caught my eye in the heart of midfield was Joseph Shirdel, with skill and solidarity running through his patterns of play.

Time to freshen things up for Rangers, maybe not

The one thing in the EURO's that will undoubtedly stand the test of time is the mind-haunting "Will Grigg's on fire" song. After spending about 5 weeks with this tune stuck in my cranium, I can't say I'm too surprised that it would be infesting through football fans around the country. A 40th minute Chris Dacres header came close to equalising, and more significantly arose the fans to shout out "Dacres on fire, your defence is terrified!" Oh lord, this is going to be happening all season, isn't it?

The fans were soon hushed though, as Agostinho Ca made a tricky darting run across the Rangers defence and eventually invited a foul and a penalty for Bolton. George Newell stepped up to bag a second for the Wanderers just before half-time, sending the home keeper the wrong way in the process. Rangers 0-2 Wanderers XI. With half-time in sight, Rangers could've waited until the break to re-group and try to get back in to the game, but that was not the attitude that saw them table-toppers in 2015/16. They got straight into the game again and a cross into the area from an impressive Robert Stevenson was almost blasted into the net for a Bolton own goal. The resulting corner was met by a header out of the box and into the path of Kris Taylor. He calmly took the ball into his grasp and swiftly unleashed a 25-yard belter which rattled the bar and bounced over the line. Rangers 1-2 Wanderers XI. A stunning finish from the former Manchester United youth product who Christened the newly installed goalposts, which were donated to Rangers by neighbouring side Stafford Town. With that, it was half-time and a chance to pop to the clubhouse for a beer. Whilst in there I overheard a man saying to his mate "how did Celtic end up playing against a team called Lincoln Red Imp?", and more hilariously I studied the screen above to see that they were losing to them!

If Lincoln Red Imp from Gibraltar can do it, why not the Rangers? 

Taking up a different spot for the second-half, we made it out for the kick-off and upon first glance it appeared that many changes had been made. Several new players, who were confusingly wearing different shirts to the rest of the team, had come out to represent Rangers and see what they could bring to the table. As Newell and Jack Earing continued to impress for Bolton, I was more impressed with the tenacious nature of the Rangers number 15 on the wing, who put in a great shift to try and carve open the opposition defence. When a chance did fall to George Bowerman in the 70th minute, he ultimately fluffed his lines and the equaliser seemed to be just out of reach. The 539 fans did their best to encourage the team towards a goal, and as the ball went out near where we were stood, one young fan shouted "go on Woody!". The left-back turned around to the fans and responded honestly with "I'm fucked. Fucking fucked, mate!" and raised laughter around the stand. With seconds to spare there was one final throw of the dice for Rangers. An inch-perfect through ball led to a hopeful position for Rangers, and the squared pass across the box was just waiting to be tapped in. Fortunately enough for the Wanderers keeper it was he who got there first and put the chance of a level scoreline to bed. At full-time it finished 2-1 to Bolton's young 'ens, which was harsh on a decent Stafford Rangers side. The lack of ability to clinch the equaliser may come to haunt Rangers in time, but they will be hopeful that with time to gel as a team that they will get better in that department.

Up the Rangers!

Another entertaining outing to Marston Road and I highly doubt it'll be my last. With the games hopefully coming thick and fast, I will be at Telford United on Thursday before deciding which games to take in next week. I've said it before and I'll say it again, it's great to be back for a second season!

05/06/2016 Review: England vs Rest of the World

England 3-2 Rest of the World (Soccer Aid 2016)
Old Trafford

For those of you who thought that the season was over and all that's left is the EURO's, you're wrong! A Sunday night charity match in Manchester will prove to be my last outing this season, as promised in my "End of Season Review".

http://socceraid.unicef.org.uk/

With an 8pm kick-off lined-up at Old Trafford, we left our home in Stoke-on-Trent at 3:30pm to allow ourselves plenty of time to make the drive up the M6 and allow for any match day traffic. Apparently 4 and a half hours wasn't enough to complete the expected 58 minute journey. A Sunday afternoon drive from hell commenced with 90 minutes of traffic gridlock near Crewe, followed by a similar length of time waiting around once on the A56 alongside Old Trafford. We walked into the ground at 8:02pm and thankfully a slight delay in kick-off meant we had only missed 1 minute.

People walking around on the M6, how exciting?

Anyway, moan over. Soccer Aid is an event celebrating it's tenth year and the fifth match for Unicef. This worthy cause was another chance for the likes of Robbie Williams, Michael Sheen, David Seaman and United favourite Jaap Stam to lace-up their boots and put on a show for a very busy Old Trafford in front of the ITV Cameras. Of course, events like this are always for the greater cause, and this one is no different. With over £5.3 million raised upon time of writing, it really is amazing to see football fans, celebrity lovers and general charity givers meeting up for a one-off match at one of England's most prestigious grounds. Old Trafford is a huge, albeit cramped, stadium and it boasts the title of being the biggest club ground in England- and at over 75,000, a lot of fans have seen a lot of success there over the years!

Not a bad little ground

Considering my usual outings take me to places like The Scholars Ground, Moss Rose and Marston Road, it's safe to say that my last three visited grounds I've been to are certainly out of my norm. Having visited Wembley for Non League Finals Day, followed by a visit to Camp Nou a couple of weeks ago, Old Trafford was amazingly only the third largest ground I'd been to within the last three weeks. Alas, it was still very much a heavyweight of world football and at least one or two others were there alongside me!

Anyone for a sardine?

With a quick purchase of a programme on my way in, we took our seat and had a quick glance to see who was in the Starting XI for both sides. I had instantly recognised a few of my all-time favourites in Ronaldinho, Dida and big Sol Campbell, meanwhile my girlfriend had spotted Olly Murs. And it seemed that looking around this was the pattern of a lot of the audience. With sections of screaming girls cheering on the former JLS member and current England Celeb striker, Marvin Humes, mixed in with hoards of Ronaldinho and Edgar Davids fans, it was certainly a mixed bunch, to say the least. At this point, it's best to be honest and say that I was here to see the ex-pros. Seeing World Cup winner and former AC Milan right-back strut his stuff was much more exciting to me than seeing John Bishop fumble about and give away the odd handball. Having said that, I was impressed by some Celeb players, and despite knowing basically nothing about Mark Wright, it has to be said that he was a solid left-back- unlike his opposite number Sean Fletcher. England started very brightly and looked destined to score sooner rather than later. Humes played some good link-up play with Robbie Fowler and Olly Murs on the left-wing was just too quick for Cafu. Having watched Soccer Aid on more than one occasion on TV, I was very familiar with the usual format of the game and knew that the goals wouldn't come until the Celeb Goalkeepers went in net after half-time. No matter how much pressing England did, the chances of them beating Jaap Stam and Dida in the Rest of the World team were slim to none.

0-0, there' no getting past the ex-pros

On the break, Ronaldinho and Edgar Davids cut through England like a knife through butter, and at times Phil Neville just couldn't get a foot in to prevent some good play from Rest of the World. Sergio Pizzorno, of Kasabian, ran down the wing like a bullet (some would say that he surged!) and he looked like the main threat for the opposition. It never quite came off for him though, and he could not do what he'd done in the past and beat Seaman in the England goal. If you haven't seen his 2012 chip in this fixture, check it out- stunning finish! With half-time drawing near, Robbie Fowler scuffed a great chance wide and Olly Murs came close with more than one chance. If I was being critical, I'd say that he had to score at least one of them- at least two of them were clear-cut chances. With a few wild drives from Robbie Williams's Stokey mate Jonathan Wilkes flying over the bar, the half was brought to an end it was time to grab a pie and a beer.

So many people, why are there so many people?

Expecting prices to rival that of Wembley, I prepared myself with a £20 note hoping that it would cover the cost of a couple of beers, a hot dog and a pie. And to my delight, I arrived at the counter to find a generous "6 items for £12" deal which included two hot food items, two drinks and two snacks- spot on! Armed with a Meat and Potato Pie, a big bag of Walker's Ready Salted and a fairly average Thai Lager, I was pretty chuffed to say the least. We used the remains of half-time to have a skeg around the walkways and have a read at the Man United trivia posts on the walls. For example, did you know that the fastest ever shot recorded by a United player at Old Trafford was from David Beckham in 1997? There was also a wall dedicated to "Brothers who've played for Man United" and also a bit about tallest, smallest, heaviest and lightest players ever to have lined-up at the "Theatre of Dreams". Quite a nice touch.

They also had a set of goalposts with a TV inside, just for fun

Back on the field, half-time was being used for a penalty shoot-out for random competition winners who now had a chance to beat the England great, David Seaman. The first guy I saw, mid 50's, scuffed a shot straight into the big shot-stopper's arms and was denied a moment of glory- which I hope for his sake wasn't a part of the live coverage. Then, came a moment of unintentional commentary comedy as a youngster took his penalty. Now, I know that people shouldn't laugh at this sort of thing, but they do! As the little kid hit his shot home, the man with the microphone shouted out "and he scores, despite the power of Seaman!", which raised more than a few smiles in the area we were sitting. An innocent mistake, but a note that when kids are around, not to shout out about the "power of Seaman". Anyway, enough with the immaturity, time to bring on the real comedy as the Celeb keepers took to the field. In a half that promised goals, ex-front man for "Top of the Pops", Jamie Theakston, popped on his England jersey and Comedian Patrick Kielty did the same for ROTW. It's safe to say that the audience had perked up a bit by this point, as the big-guns Dimitar Berbatov and Jermain Defoe took to the field with hopes of embarrassing the new Goalies. Jack Whitehall, Kieron Dyer and Fabio Cannavaro were all on the field by this point too and the game was under way. England continued on the front foot and within 5 minutes of being on the pitch, Defoe had the ball in the back of the net twice. Unfortunately for him, both were ruled offside. It is worth noting here that I am a huge Defoe fan, always have been, and I'm sure that if it weren't for the emergence of Kane, Vardy and Rashford, he'd be in Roy's 23. If it were me, he'd have a slot over Sturridge, but that's another story.

Still 0-0, for now

The deadlock was bound to be broke by England, and from a surprisingly spectacular source. England won a free-kick from 30-yards out and it was Mark Wright who stepped up and struck home a great strike past the sprawling Kielty. England 1-0 ROTW. A great strike indeed and one that set Old Trafford alight with joy at the first goal of Soccer Aid 2016. Following this, the ROTW troops rallied- Ronaldinho and Berbatov did not want to lose. In typical England fashion, the self-destruct button was pushed and following a second yellow card, Ben Shephard was dismissed for a poor last-ditched challenge and it was game on again. With that, the pressure told for England and it was the former United man Berbatov who levelled the game following a bit of faffing about from a corner. England 1-1 ROTW. And as if England hadn't already let their opponents back into the game enough, substitute Paddy McGuinness then decided to bundle over Ronaldinho in the box, following some great link-up play with Berba, to give ROTW a penalty. To ensure there was no error, Berbatov stepped up and doubled his tally from 12-yards, which I'm sure would have left a few fans in a state of "No likey!". England 1-2 ROTW. Amongst all of the packed-in action of the second-half so far, it's worth going back to note some of the back and forth duels between Edgar Davids and some of the England players. Having been pounded earlier in the game by Phil Neville and Shephard's red card challenge, it was this time a cruncher from Jamie Carragher, who had himself been subjected to playful anti-Liverpool booing from the United faithful, that seemed to be the final straw. As Carragher and Davids ran towards the touchline, Edgar shoved Carragher and sent him flying as he launched the ball out of play. Following a couple of tasty encounters at the 2014 match between the Dutchman and Jonathan Wilkes, it seemed that the charity match was no friendly for some.

Even Bishop was having a pop last time out

So with the game getting a bit more physical, it seemed like the perfect moment for a piece of magic- and when you think of magic at Old Trafford, what do you think of? David Beckham? Ruud Van Nistelrooy? JACK WHITEHALL? With the ball heading out to him on the right-wing, the crowd gave out a shout of delight that he had controlled the pass and not fumbled it out for a throw. What he did next was delightful to watch- he took the ball down the wing for a few paces before unleashing an expertly weighted pass into the path of the motoring Defoe. The rest was formality for the Sunderland man who continued his rich goalscoring form and hit home an equaliser for the Three Lions. England 2-2 ROTW. This goal sparked another change in play, and England grasped the game for the final half an hour. With chances coming and going for Defoe, a bursting run from former "I'm a Celebrity" contestant Kieron Dyer was clipped back to the dominant Defoe who hit home what proved to be the winner with under 15 minutes to go. England 3-2 ROTW. And from a footballing point of view, that was about it. Yes, we'd seen the two guys from One Direction come on to a screeching of young ladies, which was instantly followed up by booing from their dads. There was also a cameo appearance from Robbie Williams and an evil guy from "Game of Thrones", but by this point England were comfortable to hold on and see the game out. In the first half, Mark Wright and Olly Murs were great down the left, as were Davids and Ronaldinho for spells. But in the second, it was all about the star strikers as Defoe and Berbatov showed why they are still playing professionally. With stand-out showings also coming from Jack Whitehall and Cafu earlier on, the only shockers on display really were from Paddy McGuinness and Iwan Rheon who weren't on top-form this time around. Neither of the One Direction players really got into the game, which I can't say was a bad thing.

Full-time, 3-2 to England

As the final whistle blew, the whole crowd sounded out their appreciation for all involved with the game. A 5-goal second-half eventually saw Jose Mourinho pick up his first win at Old Trafford since becoming the Manchester United boss, and albeit in charitable circumstances it was a win over the current Premier League champion's manager, Claudio Ranieri. Early advantage for the title race next year, I wonder?

Just like at Moss Rose

As the players collected the trophy and did a lap of honour, the majority started to depart from the stands, whilst the die-hard, not in a rush fans stuck around to applaud the winners and the runners-up. Ronaldinho handed over his match boots to a random man in the audience and Olly Murs wore a silly wig, whilst Paddy McGuinness swapped shirts with Dimitar Berbatov and even Peter Schmeichel popped out to say hello. After all this we headed out of the ground to see if anyone was hanging about to see the fans- we weren't in a hurry after the masses of traffic witnessed upon arrival!

The Sol Campbell fan girls were out in numbers! 

Joking aside, it was yet again quite amusing to see the mixture of fans waiting for different people. Whilst I pushed ahead of women waiting to see Olly Murs, the thing on my mind was to get a picture with former Ballon D'Or winner Ronaldinho. Sadly, this was not to be and he boarded the coach with a simple smile and wink. That's the most upset he's ever made me feel since 2002, but a legend can always be forgiven. Before we knew it, the bus was moving and it was time to head home. A great night that, aside from the traffic, had been a great and also highly fun match experience. Will I come back to Old Trafford, perhaps not, but I'm still chuffed to be able to say that I've been and witnessed what all of the fuss is about. Call me old fashioned, but I much prefer the quiet and homey atmosphere of the 100 or so at a non-league ground to that of a 70,000 group of every kind.

Girlfriend's departing thought- "We'll watch it on TV again next time."