28/07/15 Review: Port Vale vs Bolton Wanderers

Port Vale 1-2 Bolton Wanderers (Pre-season Friendly)

Vale Park

Tuesday night football, it's been a while. The last game I attended on a Tuesday night was Macc vs Telford back in March- and it was freezing! Tonight's game was another pre-season delight and in Port Vale and Bolton Wanderers I hoped to see two teams going at it before the Football League season kicks-off next weekend. The Vale had pulled out a 2-2 draw with La Liga side Getafe and Bolton had meanwhile been held to a 1-1 draw at Scunthorpe in their last friendlies, and considering the last SIX games I have attended have ended in draws it seemed almost inevitable that another tie was on the cards. My prediction, however, was that Bolton would triumph by one goal.

Both sides ended last season in 18th Place in their respective leagues, with Vale only 4 points away from relegation and the Wanderers comfortable in the end with a 10 point gap from the drop zone. Having signed new players in Osede (Real Madrid), Ceberio (Real Sociedad), Lussey (Liverpool) and Amos (Manchester United) it looked like Bolton would be in for a much better season with players from Europe's top sides, albeit academy youngsters, at their disposal. Vale had also been bringing in the newbies, with Uche Ikpeazu (loan- Watford) seeming to be a happy signing for the Burslem side.

One of the nicest buildings I've seen in Burslem.

As kick-off was advertised for 7:30pm I set off at 7:20pm, due to the fact that I live just 2.2 miles away. I did not know I lived this close until recently, so it is a crime really that it has taken me over 2 years since living in Sneyd Green to actually visit Vale Park. I arrived and parked up down a scabby side street at around 7:27pm, then rushed towards the ground, passing many fans who didn't seem concerned about missing the kick-off. I eventually got to the turnstile at 7:32pm and was told I had to buy my ticket from "a ticket office near the railway". Say whaaaaaat?! So, being a cunning son of a gun, I decided to walk around to the away end and as luck would have it away fans could buy a ticket from a much closer location. Looks like I'm a Bolton fan for the evening then. I purchased my ticket, read that it was actually a 7:45pm KO (phew!) and took my seat with a miserable group of people who sounded like Peter Kay. The teams came out to the sound of "Uptown Funk" and the line-ups were announced. With all my rush I hadn't settled down enough to take note that Emile Heskey, scorer of England's 2nd goal away at Kazakhstan in 2009, wasn't playing. Alas, I did listen in enough to hear that new signings Amos and Osede were starting and Vale looked to be sporting their first XI, so it was game on! About four Bolton fans must've been part of the Wanderers' bad boy gang as they 'booed' every players name being called out for Vale, classy.

Safety netting applied to stop the away fans mixing with.... erm, the rest of the away stand?

Unlike the past two pre-season friendlies I've viewed in July, this one started off like a real match. Shots were constant and the tackles were hard, with Vale having a loanee injured within the first 5 minutes. Vale looked up for it, with prior mentioned Ikpeazu looking like a handful for the Bolton back-four. He rose above them, outpaced them and despite being a bit greedy at times, looked like he may provide the opener from open-play or set-piece. However, it was the ex-Stoke man, Carl Dickinson, who rattled the post, almost giving them the lead. The Bolton fans didn't have much to cheer about and when a player got anywhere near the goal one fan would, without fail, shout "Shoooooooot!" to which on one instance another fan responded with "I'll shoot you in a minute". With only a few minutes until the break another new Bolton signing, Madine, did Shoooooooot and score- a goal which Vale fans protested was offside, but the precise finish was allowed, none the less. Vale 0-1 Wanderers. The 150 or so away fans gave a slightly enthused cheer before returning to their seats. Half-time came shortly after, with Bolton holding a slight advantage. With no programme and no money for a pint, I decided to check out the away facilities and see if £1.20 would get me anything to drink.

The away area was exactly what you'd expect, the beers were warm and pies were cold. I approached the of the queue and had the following exchange with the server:

Me: How much for a beer?

Server: £2

Me: Ok, what about a coke?

Server: £2

Me: A tea?

Server: £2

Me: Anything you can get me for £1.20?

Server: You can have a coke.

Me: Thanks.

In hindsight, I think what actually happened was the very nice lady let me off by 80p, but at the time it seemed as though she was selling items to the nearest pound in an attempt to rob away fans. Following that, I returned to my seat and listened to "Uptown Funk" on the Half-Time PA for the Second time- closely followed by a hat-trick as the teams came back out.

The local Stoke-on-Trent black clouds are the 12th man at Vale Park

No subs at half-time, which left me still wondering if Emile had made the trip to Stoke. I had thought that all hope was lost until I heard some fans shouting "Heskey, give us a wave, Heskey, Heskey, give us a wave." during half-time. It was a similar sense false hope that I used to receive whilst watching him play for England in the 2000's. Anyway, on with the second half. Bolton started well and looked threatening, but it was through well-worked build-up than an attacking onslaught.

The second goal, however, came from a great tackle and run from the Wanderers right-back, passing it to the winger who curled one towards the lethal Madine. His second goal made it Vale 0-2 Wanderers. The Vale didn't deserve to be 2 down and they knew that, with Leith-Smith coming on Port Vale pressed from the kick-off and made a chance of their own. A cross came in to Moore, who scuffed his shot wide- luckily Foley had made a well-timed run and before the ball could go out of play he swept in and prodded it in to the net. Vale 1-2 Wanderers, game on!

With a comeback on the cards, it was a bit too much to take for one steward.

Having already hit the woodwork twice, Vale pressed even more to look for an equaliser. Subs were coming on, the Vale fans were getting rowdy and the rain was starting to pour- it was turning into a proper game of English football. With 10 minutes to go Vale struck the bar again, feeling at this point that it just wasn't their day. The final set of subs came on, putting down my dreams of seeing a Heskey goal and it was in stoppage time when the big call came. The ref gave the home side a last-minute penalty. At 2-1 down with one of the last kicks of the game to come, Byron Moore was transported from a wet friendly in Burslem to the World Cup final in Rio. The pressure was on to beat debutante Ben Amos from 12-yards. And, you guessed it, crashed against the bar and out. Shortly after, the final whistle went and that was it. Full Time, Vale 1-2 Wanderers.

A Vale legend, probably.

On our way out, the PA sounded with respectful comments from the Vale announcer to wish Bolton a good season. One fan was thrilled at this, saying "that's nice of 'em, they didn't have to say that." whilst another shouted back at the ground "we'll need it!". I then made my way around to the dressing room exits to see if anyone, mainly Heskey, was about. I waited and waited, got a few players to sign my ticket so that I didn't seem too weird. I then knew there was no chance when the main man, Neil Lennon, popped out to jump on the departing coach. As a fan of Lennon, I decided to get a picture with him- and even went as far to ask what he thought of his team today. "Aye, was a good showing" was his reply. I wanted to ask if Emile was in his plans for the new season, but I didn't want to upset the lad mid-photo.

That is me with Neil Lennon, I promise.

So that was it, home time. I had done it on a cold Tuesday night in Stoke, so to speak. Knowing that this nice, local stadium was within 2.2 miles of my house meant that another trip must be made to support the Vale. They were unlucky tonight and I'm sure this season will be a bit less nail-biting than the last.

Good night Vale Park, see you again.

18/07/15 Review: Macclesfield Town vs Rochdale

Macclesfield Town 0-0 Rochdale (Pre-season Friendly)

Moss Rose

Well it's that time of the year again, pre-season at the Moss Rose- and what better way to start off than with a tough game against opponents from two divisions above? With games to come against other League One sides in the form of Bury and Sheffield United, the Silkmen have clearly stated their intent as to the quality of team they hope to be able to compete against. With no goals from two friendly matches so far, including a 0-0 draw with Kidsgrove and a 0-3 defeat against Nantwich, I was hopeful of a goal but not necessarily a win today.

Rochdale will too have been hoping to kick a bit more spark into their pre-season run, having lost 0-1 against AFC Fylde and sneaking past Chester by a narrow 1-0 scoreline so far. The Dale had a good campaign last year, finishing 8th in League One and with players like Noble-Lazarus and Ian Henderson at their disposal it would be interesting to see what sort of team turned up at Moss Rose on a sunny Cheshire afternoon.

It was like I'd never been away, up the Silkmen!

After attending a 4 goal draw in Dumfries just 4 days ago, it was great to be back in Macclesfield surrounded by the regular faces and a cheap pint. It's very rare that you find a place which sells a pint for under 3 quid, but the McIllroy Suite is always trusty and friendly for home and away fans to enjoy. With that, I had a scout through the pre-match programme and reminisced about my glory days on Football Manager 2013 when I took Rochdale to 10th in the Premier League- a team which included mid 30's wingers Adam Johnson and Ashley Young. Good times.

Always a joy to see the MTFC Carpet in the McIllroy Suite.

The Silkmen lined up with a team which I wouldn't imagine to be too far from our opening XI against Torquay, with Turnbull, Whitaker and Pilkington all starting and Branagan sporting the No.1 Jersey again after the departure of Rhys Taylor. Rochdale had a strong line-up too, with Reuben Noble-Lazarus being highlighted as a key man up against our right-back Andy Halls. No Ian Henderson today, but with Alessandra and Lund in the starting XI for the Dale it was bound to be a stern test. My pre-match prediction was 1-2 to the Dale. So, as the game kicked off the opening 10 minutes provided very little in efforts on goal, with only one effort heading towards the Silkmen's goal. It certainly had a friendly feel about the game, so much so that the Linesman even shouted "don't foul, don't foul" every time the ball was in a position by the left wing (cheers, Coach!) and at one point when a foul was given against Andy Halls over on the right, the chap behind me said to the lady he was with, "Oooh, that was a good 'en. He's usually good value for a dozen of them over a season!" and then expressed his disappointment that he wasted one of them in a friendly. The big lad up-front for the Silkmen, Jack Sampson, had a similar playing style to Macc-born Peter Crouch and even replicated his play to the extent of accumulating half a dozen offsides in the first half. He was a handful for the Dale's defence though, looking good with his feet and overall hold-up play. As half-time approached I decided to nip to the toilet before the rest of the fans followed suit and it was at this point where I saw the highlight of the afternoon. Whilst at the Queen of the South game I made reference to an out of date Status Quo poster, however, in the urinal here at Moss Rose I found myself reading a poster which was 13 (THIRTEEN!) years out of date. When I was 11-years old, the chances are that I had a copy of Pro Evolution Soccer 2, little did I know that at the age of 24 I would be stood looking at the same advertisement and thinking "wow, that looks like a great game!"

"PES 2 is the greatest football game ever" Macclesfield are a vintage club, to say the least.

At half time, with the score at 0-0, I went to the bar and messaged Tom, one half of the legendary Partizan Bristle (https://twitter.com/partizanbristle), who was watching his Rovers side "being spanked" by an Arsenal XI. We have a Stoke XI to come to Moss Rose later on in pre-season, so hopefully the spankings will stay in Bristol. It is at this point in the day where I like to find my "Pint of Football Moment" in the programme- and today's was an absolute blinder! In a section labelled "10 things you didn't know about... Rochdale" I found point 9 to be hugely educational. "It was claimed that Adolf Hitler liked Rochdale's Town Hall so much that he wanted to ship it to Nazi Germany, had they won WWII." Had I known this when I did A-Level History, I have no doubt that I would've gotten an 'A'!

A splendidly evil looking building, indeed.

So, the second half was under-way and it seemed likely by now that Macc's first goal of the pre-season was going to have to wait for another time. The most likely way we were going to score was through the terrible distribution of Dale keeper Johny Diba, who seemed to enjoy slicing the ball like it were a piece of cheese. He did, however, have the skills of a frustrated outfield player as he twice took the ball under his control from a back pass and took on Silkmen strikers like a young John Barnes. Throughout the second half Noble-Lazarus continued to be man-marked and stopped by Andy Halls, who was Player of the Match in my eyes. Every time he turned with the ball and tried to burst into the box, Halls hacked the ball away and kept his cool against the pacey number 11. Not much else followed in the second half, with Macc throwing on a couple of trialists and it wasn't until the last 20 minutes when the Silkmen almost took the lead. New signing Kris Dennis struck a shot against the crossbar and provided a rare "ooooooh" sound from the home support. Another followed in stoppage time when Theo Bailey-Jones weaved his way into the box and smashed a low shot towards goal, only to be palmed away by the keeper. Full Time, Macc 0-0 Dale. 

Keep it up lads, the goals will come soon enough.

Not a dull game, despite the lack of chances, as Macc looked more than comfortable against a League One side. The next game I will be at will probably be Sheff United, so it'll be interesting to see how they kick on after games in-between against Bury and Stockport County.

14/07/15 Review: Queen of the South vs Kilmarnock

Queen of the South 2-2 Kilmarnock (Pre-season Friendly)

Palmerston Park

With just over three weeks to go until the start of the season for Queen of the South and only two weeks for Kilmarnock, tonight’s friendly was bound to be the real deal for these teams who would be looking to shake off their respective disappointments from last season.

Queen of the South were only halted from Premiership football this season by Rangers in the Scottish Championship playoff and more specifically by former Killie favourite Dean Shiels, whereas Kilmarnock suffered from a terrible end to the season which nearly saw them fall into the relegation playoff. Because of this, all at Palmerston Park were expecting a tight clash.

Come on you Queens.

I arrived in Dumfries nice and early to get my ticket from the ground, which was surprisingly tough to find due to the fact the Ice Bowl was signposted everywhere and the football stadium nowhere. Good old Scots and their love of all things cold. When I eventually found it tickets were purchased for 5 of my finest pounds and a bonus that seating was unallocated. With tickets purchased I headed to the pub for a beer and burger combo (not even Angus beef!).

Forget about the footy, get your curling shoes on.

By the time I got back to the stadium it was buzzing, the Killie fans had made the 60 mile trek from Ayrshire and the atmosphere is what I would call “not bad”. I took my seat right at the front, just to the right of the halfway line and prepared for some traditional 4-4-2 football. My pre-match prediction was 0-0. Having arrived just in time for kick-off, I apparently missed a minute’s silence prior to the match- and then several more from the very quiet supporters during the match! A slow start but Queens looked fairly bright and attacking-minded, with Callum Tapping looking like the best on the field. Although I didn’t know any players for Queens, it took no time to get to know the traditionally Scottish named players such as Dowie and Russell. The chanting was virtually non-existent and I feared that my shouting at shots gone wide and heavy tackles would wake the neighbours. One man had the imagination to repeat “stick it in the net” every time the ball entered the final third, not the catchiest one I’ve heard but at least he had a go. Perhaps the most humorous thing about the referee and his team of officials this evening was that they were all wearing kits sponsored by Specsavers, which I have since found out has been the case for the past few years. It certainly eradicated the usual “should’ve gone to Specsavers lino" screams we get in England. On top of this, the other main fascination during the first half was with how many kids were leaving the stands to go and buy Scotch Pies (I counted 11) from the tuck shop. This simmered down slightly after the opening goal, a rifled effort from front-man Hilson, following a long ball which was hoofed up the field- in England we would call it Sunday-league tactics, but it seemed to work for the lad. Queens 1-0 Killie. That is how it remained until half time.

Kilmarnock fans packed out the away end, honestly!

During the break I quickly discovered that Dumfries appeared to be one of four towns in the UK who still enjoys the music of Status Quo. The band had posters plastered all over the ground for a gig at Palmertson Park and it wasn’t until further inspection that I noticed this event had already been and gone last month, gutted. I quickly grabbed a halftime cola from the tuck shop and took my seat ready for hopefully a more end to end 45 minutes.

Beautiful sunset in the background.

The second half saw subs galore to start with- which seemed to be Kilmarnock’s way back into the game. Rory McKenzie came on and took a hold of the game, duly swatting in the equaliser thanks to some good work from Josh Magennis. Queens 1-1 Killie. Following this, the game finally opened up to become the game that I had hoped for, rather than the game that I had expected and so far received. Killie continued to make the changes and they even gave star man Kris Boyd a run out- Queens fans sat nearest to me could not contain the excitement of seeing a Scotland international and one lad in particular could not help himself but to shout “give us your autograph Boydie!” every single time he got the ball. At this point about a dozen lads were asked to leave by two policemen following an incident where one of them had started to get a bit overexcited. The Killie fans were in full voice by now and they could sense a winner was coming and with about 15 minutes to go McKenzie, Scotland U-21 international, smashed one in for the Ayrshire side to take the lead. Queens 1-2 Killie.

When Josh Magennis isn't assisting the goals for Killie, he's usually hanging out with me in Crewe.

I thought that would’ve settled the match, but from the kick-off Queens darted forward and instantly won a free-kick. At this point the sun was so low that I was struggling to see what was going on, but it looked as though Lionel Messi had come on for Queens and took it upon himself to run past the entire Killie team before winning the free-kick just outside the box (cannot confirm this though). Either way, Conroy stepped up and swung his left-footed effort straight past the wall and into the net- a great finish and on the whole a deserved equaliser. Queens 2-2 Killie. The last 10 minutes was mainly consisting of subs, with Kris Boyd laying a few Queens players out in between. Full Time, Queens 2-2 Killie.

Boyd has caps for Scotland, he also likes to cap his fellow professional.

After the final whistle I hastily left the ground as the Scottish air turned from tolerable to nippy. The first taste of Scottish football was good, although I would like to say that in my opinion neither of these sides were any better than Macclesfield Town. The ground was similar in size and layout to Moss Rose and had a similarly nice crowd- it certainly felt like a friendly match all round.