22/08/20 Review: Shifnal Town vs Coalville Town

Shifnal Town 0-0 Coalville Town (Pre-Season) Acoustafoam Stadium

With pre-season officially being welcomed back to football fans in some degree, yesterday was always going to be a good one for non-league clubs as they could finally throw open their gates to massively overdue income and I for one was very excited to be back out and about supporting them. This match had an added bonus for me because it featured a side that I had seen and enjoyed before in the form of Leicestershire's Coalville Town. I saw them during my first season of groundhopping over at Owen Street in 2016 as they completely annihilated Basford United in a Playoff Semi-Final, so the thought of seeing how the now Southern League Premier Central Division side were doing in 2020 was as exciting a reason as any to make my first ever trip to the Acoustafoam Stadium, home of West Midlands Regional League side Shifnal Town.

Freshly painted, it's the Acoustafoam Stadium

Knowing that there would be a mixture of COVID-19 related ristrictions in play, plus a regional hunger to get to a live game, I made my way over from Stafford allowing plenty of time to get into the 2pm match just outside of Telford. This would be my fourth visit to a ground in and around the Shropshire town having visited Wellington Amateurs vs Eccleshall just over a year ago, before popping over to New Bucks Head a few weeks later for a cracking game between Telford United and Gloucester City and at the start of this month in my rebellious phase of going to games when apparently we shouldn't have been, I checked out the picturesque Shawbirch Road for a friendly between Allscott Heath and Stafford Town. For me, Telford is one of the best towns around when it comes to football grounds and having moved to Stafford last year I have been very fortunate to check out a great variety of non-league nicety, but my fourth trip may well have been the best yet.

Opening thoughts... splendid!

When I posted the above picture on Social Media yesterday afternoon, there were a lot of groundhoppers and other former visitors of the old Phoenix Park making comment about how much the ground has seemingly changed over the past couple of years and the two biggest changes are the "Legends Bar" which overlooks the pitch, and of course the mass paint job that has seen the ground turn from red and white to blue and yellow. Foolishly, I had assumed that this change was a re-branding exercise for the club as they perhaps changed their club colours, but when kick-off came around I was proven wrong as the home side still do play in their original colours. Perhaps it is a sponsorship thing?

Either way, it is a thing of beauty

The main stand is across from the bar and dugout zone and stands magnificently in its new coat. The stand is concrete with a metal roof and as I would soon find out as the rain swooped over Shropshire, it is a great place to sit and watch the game from the halfway point. I decided to take in the first-half from here and so I plonked myself down just in time for the pre-match minute's silence ready for what was bound to be a good challenge for Shifnal. The Ravens, who had made the just over one hundred mile round-trip from Leicestershire, began as pre-match favourites for most and the feeling amongst the fans would be that their Shifnal side were in for a tough test. Before the season was closed prematurely, Coalville Town sat 8th in the Southern League Central Division and with the games in hand they had over some they were well in the hunt for promotion to the National League North, fighting alongside fellow Midlands sides Tamworth, Bromsgrove Sporting, Rushall Olympic, Stourbridge, Banbury United AND Nuneaton Borough. Some 'Pint of Football' favourites there for sure and many clubs on that list that I've had the honour of visiting over the past five years.

Impressive, but what about the hosts? 

The game's home side were not going to be pushovers though and although they are two divisions below their opponents, Shifnal Town were actually one of the sides who were arguably hard done by at the postponement stage of last season given that they were six points ahead of the chasing pack in the West Midlands Regional League having played less games than closest rivals Bewdley Town and Dudley Town. Hopefully this new season will be the chance for Shifnal to escape the league that they have lingered in since 2016. For today thought it was all about fitness and building up the match sharpness in time for the new season and I made my usual pre-match prediction in which I'd wrongly gone with a 2-3 victory for Coalville.

Proof that people aren't going nuts. It DID used to be red!

Before the match could begin properly I was involved in one of my typically unfortunately humorous interchanges as an old Telford fan shouted a conversation starter out to me which was overheard by the linesman that he was talking about. "Look at that, he's older than me!" was the line shouted at me from across the stand, but before I had chance to respond the lino looked up at us and quickly put his claim to bed. We found out that at 58 and 60 respectively, the men running the line were in fact younger than the 66-year old beer swiller who spent half the game saying "Coalville? I thought they were playing Coleshill" to different people as they entered the stand. Bless him. In other bizarre scenes, I spotted two tight gits watching the game from their bedroom windows behind the ground. I know that we were in a supposed recession, but three quid entry is hardly bank breaking for a game of footy, is it?

All I can say is that this lot must be loaded if they travelled and paid to come in

On the pitch, the first-half was very entertaining and although it was a goalless one there were plenty of chances to observe. Coalville had the majority of the chances, but Shifnal had the more clear-cut ones and none were more memorable than the home side's big number 5 popping up with a poachers goal from a set-piece that was deemed to be offside by the lino. From where I was, which was right in line with the action, it was miles onside and when the cameraman looked back through his pictures he appeared to pull the man with the flag to the side to show him the proof. His response was "there's no video refs here" and rightly so. I didn't moan, because I really dislike VAR, it has totally put me off watching live games at a higher level and ultimately I'd rather see slow old lino's get it wrong than wait fifteen minutes for a verdict. Sorry, Shifnal.

Half-time, aka pint-time

As mentioned at the start of the write-up, there's a new bar in town and with "Legends" calling me in, I decided it would only be rude not to pop up the steps to sample the very modern and stylish bar that is not often associated with non-league football grounds. Although it is a wee bit snug and therefore not the easiest place to socially distance in, I managed to find myself a table for one in the long and narrow wooden interior designed clubhouse. Much like the rest of the ground, it is very swanky and had it continued to rain I may well have considered viewing the second 45 from there. As it was though, the sun was back out and so I made my way across the heights of the grass mound surrounding the pitch in search of a bench to perch on as the two sides began the action again. The key thing to note was that Football League scoring sensation and former Northern Ireland International forward Billy Kee had entered the field of play and having read a lot about his personal woes of late it was sincerely great to see him out there playing.

From the "Legends Bar" to watching the FL legend in the flesh

Sadly I didn't get to see Billy boy notch a goal in the second-half, but that didn't stop it from being yet another good end-to-end bout between two very good sides. It would be harsh to say that the highlight of the game was seeing a guy get his fresh pint knocked over by the ball moments after the second-half began, but ultimately that was the closest the crowd would come to the satisfaction that only goals can bring. On another day I think a more hungry Coalville side would have won this outing, but equally if the lino hadn't given that Shifnal offside in the first-half then we may well have seen a home victory- so a draw was absolutely the correct result on the day. Certainly not a bore draw and the ground itself was definitely worth the entry fee alone. Keep up the good work Shifnal- and I hope you get that car park sorted in time for my next visit.

I'll struggle to top this one for a little while

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Play to the Whistle- A Caribbean Story Inspired by Football Manager (PART TWO: The Caribbean Mega League- Let the Podcast Begin!)

Play to the Whistle

A Caribbean Story Inspired by Football Manager

PART TWO: The Caribbean Mega League- Let the Podcast Begin!

Okay we're back in the action and after explaining the origins of my fictional football venture during Part One, I will now attempt to take you into the world of the game as I walk through the first few weeks of the Football Manager campaign, the development of the early "Play to the Whistle" scripts and the recording of the vocals coming from two guys who live over one hundred miles away from each other.

First up, let's play some FM20

To ensure that the story of Tom Meadowcroft, my good friend from the West Country, is told in the best and most natural way I decided to put him in charge of Dominican Republic side Republican Rabbits, one of the teams that has a large pool of players, in hope that the AI controlled club would have a good chance of success over this twenty-two match campaign and although I didn't want to impact the results too much, I did want to still be involved in the actual playing of the game and so instead of just simulating all of the results I decided to take on the challenge of managing Jamrock Juniors. Whilst Jamtastic would have a pool of almost 600 players to choose from for the 25-man squad, Tom's Rabbits team would have only 200- but that did include quite a lot of South American golden oldies who were bound to be head and shoulders above the likes of most players in the league. In comparison, St Kitts & Nevis would only have a pool of 41 players to pick from meaning that Moko-Jumbies FC was possibly at a disadvantage to some of the other teams.

The Jamrock Starting XI are all valued at £80k to £100k which is a strong CML side

In order to give the league a feel of true realism (and very much the nerd factor!) I went all out from the start of the season by setting out a clear guideline of how the weeks would go both in and out of the game itself. The first step, as you'd expect from any full-time league, was to establish a ranking system to try and predict who was expected to finish where. I won't spoil it for you at this stage, but out of the twelve teams I categorised their expectations as "Top Four", "Mid-Table" (5th-8th) and "Bottom Four" and of my predictions five of them were correct come the end of the season. Not bad considering I don't know too much about the likes of the Aruban league or the Bermudan top tier!

One thing I could be certain of was that this is the best real footballer name ever!

With the teams picked through a six hour draft, the squads analysed and the clubs ready to go, the next step was to get stuck in to the first round of fixtures in which my Jamrock Juniors kicked off with a 1-2 defeat at the Levi Roots Arena, Tom's Rabbits side opened with a strong win versus Redonda Rockys and the small-fry Moko-Jumbies FC side beat Ajax Oranjestad of Aruba. Once I had the first set of results there was work to do so that I could gather the information I needed for the game's outer world. First up, I wrote up a mini review of the week's action so that I could recall how the week went when I came back to my script. Then, I created a "Team of the Week" excel sheet which in the future would be used to compile a "Team of the Season" just like in the real leagues.

I told you it was nerdy!

Now that I'd created a structure for my league, I decided to whip up a quick website to display some of the magic, but more importantly www.pintoffootball.co.uk/fictionalfooty would act as a place for my Podcast to live alongside some of my other mental footballing ventures. Give it a visit if you like obscurity at its finest!

Anyway, on to the creative bit and I began to start writing the script for week one of the "Play to the Whistle" story. As mentioned before, Tom would be the play's protagonist and the opening weeks would see me conduct a scripted interview with him at the end of the matches. Think 'Match of the Day', but with no holds barred.

Now we're cooking

Once we'd sat down and recorded the first session over Facebook Messenger from Stafford and Severn Beach respectively, I did a bit of editing and added in some sound effects, before releasing it to the world using Buzzsprout. The following weeks would be a rinse and repeat process to ensure that it works well before we move on to bigger and more exciting episodes which will include everything from matchday commentary of a match all the way through to an interview on an imaginary flight from Bermuda to the USA. It's bound to be an exciting project and hopefully one that will grip the audiences from start to finish. Although the episodes are generally between five and fifteen minutes long, the content will hopefully offer a good blend of humour and general interest in this fictional league made on one of my favourite games, recorded by some of my favourite people. At time of writing I am seven weeks into my website match reports, four episodes into "Play to the Whistle", three months into the Football Manager campaign and god knows how many hours into the creative elements of the whole thing. Safe to say that I'm absolutely loving it so far, even though it is an ever growing beast that you'll get to find out more about should you wish to tune in to the poddy. Tune in for more madness by listening to the Podcast, give me a follow on Instagram to see some of my wacky club badge designs, or check out the website for a heap of other things that I'm up to!

It did start as a basic idea, I swear!

04/08/20 Review: Allscott Heath vs Stafford Town

Allscott Heath 1-2 Stafford Town (Pre-Season)

Shawbirch Road

It's not like me to start a post off in a negative way, but after I started my last post with the statement "it might not last forever" it seems as though already the grey skies are looming over football at this level as reports are circulating on social media that even at sparsely attended open-field grounds, such as the one I attended tonight, football is being told to be played "behind closed doors" and although it appeared as though matches attended by spectators so far have been respectful and well received, this short-lived affair between fans and football may not be the new normal we'd all been hoping for.

Clubs like this deserve better

Okay, negativity out of the way and it's time to start the run down of my second game of the pre-season as I made the twenty mile drive to Shropshire in search of my 190th ground, Allscott Heath's Shawbirch Road. After getting my car back up and running, I was very excited to be attending my first midweek match since an FA Cup Replay between Birmingham City and Coventry City all the way back in February and I arrived at the small village located between Telford and Shrewsbury with plenty of time to get signed in and thermometered at the turnstile!

Better to be safe than behind closed doors...

Today's hosts, like myself and also their opposition, were ready for their second friendly since the restart and after beating Solihull based Hampton FC at the weekend they would be looking to build on fitness and momentum in this one. Stafford Town, which just so happens to be the closest club to my house, would be playing their first game in front of fans after a behind closed doors match against Stafford Rangers, which ended 0-5 to Boro at Evans Park. For me, Saturday's outing took me to The Cumberland Arena in Crewe where I saw a well-fought match between Crewe FC and Sutton Athletic, and with that we all found ourselves here on a gloomy Tuesday night in August for a 7pm bout between a member of the West Midlands Regional League and the Midland Football League. The home team are at Step Seven in the non-league pyramid, whilst the visitors are Step Six, but considering my two outings to see Stafford Town so far have seen them lose 0-8 at Sporting Khalsa in a regional cup game and 2-5 whilst hosting Studley, I was wondering whether I'd see one of my hometown clubs take another slaughtering or if this pre-season fixture would give me the chance to see the Reds- who were playing in grey and yellow- grab a win. My pre-match prediction was for a high-scoring end-to-end game and I guessed at a 3-2 home win on this occasion.

But enough of the chit chat, let's have a mooch around the ground

Allscott's ground is one with infinite potential and for those of you who have visited it will know that when I say that what I actually mean is that there is loads of room to grow. Although there is currently only a couple of benches underneath a small sheltered area for fans, the land in which the ground sits on could easily be shaped to have a few little stands and a shiny new clubhouse should the club desire. Having spoken with someone from the club briefly, I believe that their plan is to get floodlights erected first and then start to shape up for a clubhouse behind the far goal. For now though, it's good old portacabins, fences and mishmashy goodness- my favourites! In fairness, the scenery that would form the backdrop of a game on a sunny afternoon is no doubt purely stunning and with the ground being so open it is an ideal place to host a Summer evening match such as this one. On the other hand though, there was a lack of sun and pleasantness to be seen from above tonight and instead we'd be treated to thick clouds moving faster than the Transport for Wales trains that could be heard in the windy distance.

At least we had the main ingredient... FANS!

The game kicked-off a little after 7pm and so I made my way from the main standing area, which seemed to be hosting a respectable but certainly not overcrowded fifty people, over to the netted area behind the goal so that I would be poised to see the goal-fest commence. Needless to say that as I'd predicted goals galore, the first-half would come to a goalless conclusion but that certainly wasn't for a lack of trying. Both teams were fairly nimble in possession and although the games at this stage are all about fitness I think that it was actually an entertaining game considering the lack of goalscoring opportunities. The opening exchanges saw Town dominating without really threatening and despite picking up the first of what seemed like a lot of bookings for a friendly match, they did look a good and well-drilled side from the first whistle. For the hosts, playing in green, their number 7 and number 9 both looked like tricky customers and it was indeed their forward who got the first real chance just after the water break, only to scuff it wide.

Red flags, blue stand, green badge? I suspect the Heath have been through some stuff 

In the second-half there was much more to shout about in terms of goals and the half began with an early one as the home side went ahead courtesy of a deflected strike which caught Town's goalkeeper flatfooted and inevitably turning around to pick the ball out of his net. Just the start the hosts wanted. Allscott 1-0 Stafford. With the second spell not even yet ten minutes old, we'd see another goal and this time it came in the form of a blasé piece of goalkeeping from the home goalie as he loosely passed the ball to one of the three Stafford forwards all waiting to pounce. It was Josh Wilson who gratefully took the ball in his grasp before hitting home the equaliser which based on the first-half performance was probably deserved. Allscott 1-1 Stafford. The match was now "as you were" and although we'd see more chances at both ends there could only be one more goal in it and that came just before the last ten minutes when a windy clearance ended up in a two man hunt between Stafford's forward and an Allscott centre-back. The Town striker out-muscled his man to then give himself the glory with a nice finish as his side took the lead for the first time in the match. Allscott 1-2 Stafford.

I watched on from this randomly placed set of stairs leading on to the pitch

Allscott were more urgent after going behind but ultimately the referee would end their misery by blowing the whistle on this match, meaning that although my pre-match prediction was wildly wrong, at least I can finally say that I've seen Stafford Town win a game. Third time lucky for me!

Time for a quick one before the ride home

In summary, I'm really pleased to have been able to tick this one off as I always feel bad for delaying small nearby visits. As I was explaining to someone earlier, I tend to try and keep a list of easy local grounds like this one for when I am in need of a new ground but haven't got time to swan off to Italy or ride all the way down to Portsmouth. Being one of these freaks who works a lot of Saturdays and evenings, the options of a quick visit within an hour's drive are crucial to have on the back-burner and I suppose depending on how things pan out I will be visiting a lot more of them in the coming months. Hopefully I'll also get to revisit Allscott when they have more development work done and it would be great to see it buzzing. Full credit must go to the club's volunteers who ran the evening superbly and I do hope that the government will bear the precautions and care that go into planning even a basic match like this. The track and trace records were completed, people were zapped on the way in, they had plenty of signage and instructions, so just let them play the damn game!

Cheers lads, it was a pleasure

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01/08/20 Review: Crewe FC vs Sutton Athletic

Crewe FC 1-3 Sutton Athletic (Pre-Season)

The Cumberland Arena

It might not last forever and it almost certainly isn't gonna be the same as it used to be, but on Saturday 1st August proper football returned and the beloved English grass-routes game started up again for the first time since mid-March. Yes, a whole twenty-one weeks after I attended a brilliant game of FA Vase action between Atherstone Town and Consett at The Mark Webster Community Stadium in front of a packed out pre-COVID crowd, I was on the train once again and on my way from Stafford to Crewe to go and see some pre-season action. In truth, this first day back in the hunt for new grounds didn't offer too much choice because all matches at Step Six of the non-league pyramid and above were being played behind closed doors and therefore the two standouts for attendance for me were Redgate Clayton in Newcastle-Under-Lyme OR The Cumberland Arena in Crewe. Being as how I'd already visited Clayton's ground back in May 2018 and I'd seen online that many fellow desperate groundhoppers were likely to be descending on Northwood Lane, I decided to visit the lesser advertised Cumberland Arena fixture- which had the added bonus of allowing me to catch up with Crewe's new manager who I had the pleasure of working with whilst I was at Stone Dominoes.

First thing's first though, pre-match pint

With this one being a 12:30 kickoff I jumped on the 11:24 train from Stafford and found myself in the vicinity of the ground just before 12, meaning that I'd have time to pop into the Kings Arms and grab a quick beer before stumbling down Thomas Street in time for the game. Upon arrival I had a snoop around the ground, well the bits that weren't taped off, and it has to be said that it's not a bad little setup they've got. The main pitch, which wasn't being used for this game, is in decent condition and has a running track around the outside. There is then a second pitch, the 3G one which was hosting the match, that is surrounded by a fence. This pitch, which I assume is primarily used by the reserves, is practically adjacent to the railway line and therefore has a higher and much more sturdy looking fence on one side to try and prevent the trains passing by every fifteen minutes or so from popping their balls!

No action on the main pitch this time round

The Cumberland Arena is technically my fourth Cheshire Premier League ground and although that does include Congleton Town's Booth Street, which also hosts Congleton Vale, as well as Alty's Moss Lane, home of their Reserve team, I have also been to Middlewich Town's Seddon Street ground meaning that this would be only the second time I'd watch a match at a ground where the hosts play in the CPL. Crewe Alex's ladies side play here too and the aforementioned reserves team too. To give a bit of context- Crewe FC, who would argue that they were well on their way to winning the Cheshire League last season before the season was nullified, will no doubt be one of the favourites again this time around and although the restart is still subject to how the peaks and troughs of the virus play out, plans are going ahead to be ready for a new season to start in the Autumn and the boys in blue would welcome a team on the rise, in the form of newly promoted West Cheshire League outfit Sutton Athletic. Having won all there was to win in the Chester and Wirral League the club came over to Crewe looking to begin preparations of their own for their West Cheshire League Division Three season. They will be playing at the very impressive Syncreon Arena in the upcoming season and will no doubt be hoping to bask in the success of their ground share buds, Vauxhall Motors.

I thoroughly enjoyed my trip there with Stone Doms in 2018

Strangely enough, when I visited Vauxhall's ground as the Club Secretary for Stone Dominoes, Pete Griffiths was in charge of the visitors and today he was in the dugout for the first time as Crewe FC's gaffer. It was nice to see Pete again and after a hugely successful year with Nantwich Town Under 18's, which saw him take the young Dabbers into the First Round proper of the FA Youth Cup before losing out to Oldham Athletic in a great run, he was back at Crewe FC where he was returning with a tough task of living up to the expectations of competing for silverware at The Cumberland Arena. First up, though was this outing against Sutton Athletic and my pre-match prediction would be for a close and toughly fought game. I made a 2-2 draw my guess for this one.

Let's have it then.... FOOTY IS BACK

In front of about thirty spectators or so, the game kicked-off on time and although it wasn't quite emotional enough to made me shed a tear, the Ref's first whistle to kick things off did send a little shiver down the spine. Yep, I was stood in just a tee-shirt and shorts, in the rain, eating a soggy sausage roll, watching a game through a fence and I could not be happier. The opening exchanges were very open and although there was a certain element of caution to the early minutes, we'd soon see things settle down into the usual rhythm of a non-league football match- lot's of meaty challenges, a few dodgy goalkeeper touches and even the odd bit of play that wouldn't look out of place up the road at Gresty Road. In the fifteenth minute, we'd be treated to an opening goal as Lee Ludgate found himself twenty yards out with the ball at his feet, which led him to look up, spot Crewe's keeper just off his line and then fire home a tidy finish to give Sutton Athletic the lead. Crewe 0-1 Sutton. The goal clearly woke the hosts up as they almost equalised straight from kick-off, only for their left-winger to be denied by a last-ditched clearance on the line. As Crewe got themselves moving, with their number 8 looking particularly handy in central midfield, the visitors began to seem rattled and one sub clearly was getting nervy as he began to turn his pitchside warm-up into a mission to mooch a lighter off a spectator to calm himself with a fag.

Luckily for the visitors though they made it to the Government enforced drink break intact

There were no more goals in the first-half and to be honest Crewe will have counted themselves lucky to ride out the Sutton storm in the final ten minutes of the half, which gave them a chance to regroup and make a few changes. For me, this was also a chance to regroup and I took the opportunity to run down to Tom's Tap for a pint of delicious Sanctuary Torrside IPA which was made even sweeter by him serving it up in a plastic for me so that I could return to the game and savour the taste rather than going for the "neck it and run" approach. If ever you are in the area, I would definitely recommend popping into this ramshackle brewhouse- well worth it.

An absolute belter!

Back at The Cumberland Arena the visitors had an unfortunate start to the half as their keeper seemed to damage his hand which led to an outfielder going in goal for the remaining half an hour of the match. Crewe FC tried their best to capitalise on their position and although they managed a couple of shots at the uncomfortable newbie between the sticks they didn't really test him enough. The hosts resorted to making a couple of subs, which included the introduction of Christoph Azimale who is an exciting striker I've seen play for Stone Dominoes, and this would surely add a bit of spice to the final third of the match. The game continued to rise in quality as players started to find their sharpness and equally it rose in tension as a rough challenge near the corner flag ended up with a Crewe steward almost scuffling with Sutton's beefy keeper. 

Don't forget your two meter distance, lads!

On the pitch we would eventually see the first of three second-half goals, all coming in the final ten minutes, with Sutton doubling their lead after a slick counter that ended with Corey Beaven tucking the ball home. Crewe 0-2 Sutton. It wasn't going to be a whitewash for the hosts though and they responded with a goal of their own as Azimale did what he does best and got his goal to give us a very open end to proceedings. Crewe 0-2 Sutton.

Nobody could argue it hadn't been a well-fought friendly

As Crewe's reserves began to turn up ready for their match with Mary Dendy FC in the later kick-off, which I didn't bother sticking around for as I was meeting someone afterwards, the match wound down to a close- but not before Sutton's Liam Wall thrashed home his team's third goal of the afternoon. Crewe's keeper looked flustered and flappy on this occasion, meaning that the lad just couldn't keep it out and with that, the result was sealed. Crewe 1-3 Sutton. The Ref soon called full-time and with that Crewe FC began their tough pre-season schedule with a loss. I'm sure that both of these sides will do well in their respective campaigns as both looked competitive and showed class in parts, which at this level is a very good starting point. No doubt I'll be following Pete's progress with the blue team from Crewe and in the meantime I'll be heading to a couple of other matches during this very strange month of the return of the beautiful game- it's great to be back!

IF YOU ENJOY THE WRITING OF 'PINT OF FOOTBALL' 

THEN PLEASE DO CONSIDER GIVING MY PODCAST A LISTEN.

Play to the Whistle- A Caribbean Story Inspired by Football Manager (PART ONE: The Caribbean Cops League- A Perfect Prequel!)

Play to the Whistle

A Caribbean Story Inspired by Football Manager

PART ONE: The Caribbean Cops League- A Perfect Prequel!

So back in March when football- and the whole country- came to a halt due to lock down, everybody all of a sudden found themselves in need of stuff to do and although I've been very fortunate to have worked through the months, I have indeed missed travelling around to different places to see the beautiful game. As well as missing the rest of the season, I was gutted to see a trip to Skopje for the CONIFA World Cup cancelled too. However, in a time where literally thousands of people are dying or seeing loved ones taken by COVID-19, I count myself lucky to have remained safe, busy and with a little bit of extra time on my hands to do some of the hobbies that I normally get little time for... such as creating a Podcast based on a fictional football league in the Caribbean which is led by results on a Football Manager season!

One of my passions outside of football is script-writing and although I've written a few short and full-length plays over the years, I generally haven't got spare time to fit it in alongside a job, groundhopping and my voluntary role with CONIFA. Christ knows how people with kids get on! To make the most of my situation during lock down, back in April I set up a Football Manager draft with three Bristol Rovers fans and to try and make it even and somewhat random we decided to set a number of rules on the draft so that nobody would have a huge advantage. The rules in place were that all players chosen would be worth a maximum of £10k and that they would all be based in the Caribbean. Simple enough, but the results were still pretty funny.

Yohann "Park the" Bus was a personal favourite from the draft

As well as having to basically select the squad blind, there was also an element of selecting the players that stand out most out of curiosity. For example Tom, who was managing FC Saint Paulsi, selected a 43-year old English goalkeeper and a guy from Bonaire called Tom Tomburg. Can't imagine why.

Playing with Gay and Jolly on my wings, I managed to overcome the other three to win our fictional league with a game to spare and ended three points above Tiger King FC- and with that, my Jamrock Juniors team lifted the Caribbean Cops League trophy!

A great and well-fought mini season

Despite the initial success of the CCL, a second league made in Asia with much higher player value ratings didn't quite capture the imagination of the four of us and two-thirds of the way through the Tea & Justice Premier League we agreed that we didn't all have the time to be free at the same time to play the league anymore and so I went back to the normality of my Millwall campaign. Somehow though, it just wasn't the same and maybe it was the lock down delirium getting to me but I just had to get back out to the imaginary Caribbean world I'd created and so I began to think about starting up my own fictional league.

Once you've tasted Caribbean success, there is nothing else

I must clarify at this stage that I have been a long time follower of the Jamaican Premier League and Caribbean football for years, so my passion and want to play more island action (probably) isn't out of insanity caused by being inside more than usual. Anyway, back to the origin... so after reading up about several attempts by the CFU to create a professional Caribbean Football League over the years, including a short lived thing in the early nineties which featured the likes of Georgetown Cobras from Guyana and the Wadadli Deers of Antigua and Barbuda, I got thinking that COVID-19's impact on smaller nations may, in real life, cause many clubs to close down completely and therefore this would be a perfect time for a new pro body to come into place. If the CFU couldn't do it, I thought I may be the right person to give it a go and so I created the Caribbean Mega League on Football Manager Draft Mode to get the ball rolling.

All badges designed by me... in case you understandably thought they were real teams!

So with the rules set, the twelve teams created and the game good to go, it was time for me to sit and pick twelve sets of twenty-two players (which took hours!) in preparation for the twenty-two game campaign. I would continue to take control of Jamrock Juniors, but the main story behind "Play to the Whistle" of course comes from a team "managed" by Tom Meadowcroft. In part two of this blog trilogy, I will be showing you a bit more about how the opening weeks of the game pan out, how that shaped the idea for the scripts in the Podcast and of course some of the other stuff that has gone into this all-encapsulating Caribbean Mega League- but in the meantime you can catch up with the series so far on my Spotify or Soundcloud channel.

And if you do get a chance to listen, please let me know what you thought and feel free to check out my website too for more content, including a chance to even become a supported of one of the CML teams! Additionally, I also have an Instagram account that you can follow to see all of my latest groundhopping archive pics and badge designs from all of my fictional clubs.

07/03/20 Review: Atherstone Town vs Consett

Atherstone Town 1-3 Consett [AET] (FA Vase, Sixth Round)

The Mark Webster Community Stadium

I'm going to start my latest blog off with some advice that is aimed particularly at fans who support teams in the higher reaches of the football pyramid. If ever you find yourself falling out of love with the game, which could be a result of the extortionate prices in the Football League, the annoyance of VAR in the Premier League, or even the depressing financial situation if you support a team from the north west (like me!) then the best thing you can do is look out for an FA Vase latter round match and get yourself down to see it. For those of you who don't know about it, it is basically like the FA Cup or FA Trophy but it is aimed at the lower tier non-league sides, starting with local ties within the regions in the early rounds and then becoming nationwide in the latter. By the sixth round, which is the final eight, you can have sides travelling the length and breadth of the country for a chance to make it to Wembley and this is what makes the competition so magical as yesterday I would see Atherstone Town of Warwickshire facing Consett AFC in front of a jam-packed stadium of excited fans. This is what being a football fan is about and this is why they call it the beautiful game.

A great day for both clubs

Consett, of the Northern Football League, had made the near 200-mile trip down to the Midlands with the aim of keeping up the north of the country's brilliant reputation in this competition which has seen a northern team in the final for eleven of the last twelve years. So far Hebburn Town, also of the same division as Consett, have joined Kent's Corinthian side and Bitton of the Western League in the semis, meaning that there was one place left to settle as the masses began to rock up at The Mark Webster Community Stadium. So far this season I'd made it to one FA Vase game, a second round clash between Thornbury Town and Cribbs, and with that one going to extra-time over in South Gloucestershire I was very much looking forward to seeing how this game would pan out. Little did I know at the time that I'd be writing up a match of the same result that Cribbs gained back in November- I'd predicted a 2-2 draw.

There were slightly less fans at Mundy Playing Fields, though

Back to yesterday's game and I had made a last-minute decision to get the train to Atherstone as it was cheaper and quicker than driving from Stafford, so when I pulled into the station I had a quick mooch around the town centre as I headed for the ground- noting a decent amount of fans in pubs finishing off their final pre-match pints before heading up Sheepy Road for the game. As we all queued up to get in the security staff frisked us and at around 3:05pm I made it through the turnstile and into the heart of the action just in time to see Ryan Quinn bag an early opener. The hosts had apparently started well and when a corner was swung in, it caused Consett's keeper some issues, before it was eventually partially cleared, popped back into the mix and then finally lashed home by Quinn to give the Adders the lead. Atherstone 1-0 Consett. The Durham boys were clearly rattled by the start their Midland League opponents had made and they sat back to invite more pressure in front of their capacity crowd. Just before the half-hour mark a long-range strike from the Atherstone midfield smacked the angle of the woodwork, giving the crowd another excuse to applaud their boys who were so far dominating the play. I dare say that were it not for the efforts of man-mountain Ross Wilkinson and captain Arjun Purewal, a player I've seen many a time with the Panjab national football team, we'd have seen at least another goal for the Adders during this excellent half of football, played with passion, high-tempo and aggression from all involved.

All smiles for the home side as they walk in to half-time with a slender lead

My last outing a fortnight ago to Redditch's legendary Trico Stadium will undoubtedly go down as a season highlight during 2019/20 and although Atherstone's ground isn't quite as memorable, the occasion was certainly up there with the last game I saw with the atmosphere spurring on some decent football on the pitch. The main stand near the bar, which is half fenced off for some sort of health and safety reason, was bouncing at times and the corner which housed the Consett fans also had a buzz about it. I'd placed myself under the quieter of the stands near the dugout, primarily because I had a pint in each hand and didn't want to spill them, but from where I stood there was a great overview of the whole thing unfolding. I also noticed a Northwich 1874 fan stood nearby, which made me feel less odd for mooching around in a Bridlington Town scarf. Not that feeling odd would ever stop me.

And speaking of odd, here's a man with a giant ball...

The clubhouse, known as "The Adders Sports Bar", is exactly what it says on the tin and it follows suit with the rusty and well-worn look of the rest of the ground, with the addition of hundreds more fans than normal causing their bar team to have a busy old shift which would eventually see them run out of larger. Thankfully, I'd made an early trip to the bar when I first arrived and so was stocked up with two pints and that would be enough to see me through ninety minutes, of which the latter forty-five were just about to get started.

Roll on the second-half

I relocated to the seating area for the second-half as I wanted a good view from the halfway line and as a neutral it was an ideal place to be to see as both sets of fans, segregated from each other, cheering on their respective sides as they look to make it into the semis to face Bitton. One thing that was amusing me was the mix of professional security guards and volunteer stewards both doing their bit to keep things running smoothly. For every old kipper in a hi-viz leaning against the burger van, there was a bald meaty man in a tight tee-shirt trotting around and making sure everything was okay. Back on the pitch, the game had restarted and in the opening minute the visitors missed a big chance, but this was to be a signal of the rest of the match's development as the Steelmen grew in confidence.

The tension was building

Further into proceedings Consett knocked on the door again, with a chance this time coming off the bar, but just after an hour had passed we'd eventually see the deserved goal as the visiting right-back, Jermaine Metz, smash home a shot from outside the box that flew past Carl O'Neill. Atherstone 1-1 Consett. With the visiting fans getting a bit overexcited, a few of them were ejected by the security, but that didn't stop them raising the bar on the volume front as they cheered on their lads to try and nick the match in normal time. Despite their best efforts, the game could not be settled and as referee Thomas Parsons blew his whistle that would mean we had thirty more minutes to follow.

Bring it on, EXTRA TIME

It seemed as though the wind had been taken out of the sails of the hosts and their first-half dominance seemed years away from what was now the Consett show. Calvin Smith made the most of a Metz throw-in and he tucked home a smart finish to give the Steelmen the lead for the first time in the game, one-hundred minutes into the game. Atherstone 1-2 Consett. It's hard to put in to context how deflating this goal must have been for Atherstone, who by that point had surely been holding out for penalties. The lads looked knackered and were powerless to resist as Smith doubled his tally and as a result sent the away fans into oblivion. Atherstone 1-3 Consett. In truth, the scoreline could have been worse for the hosts and although it was a valiant effort from the Adders, Consett would be the deserved victor and will go into a two-legged semi in just a couple of weeks time. I'll be interested to see whether the Steelmen can overcome their Western League opponents and potentially setup a final against their league rivals Hebburn, if they can get past Corinthian.

 Next up for Town, a local cup outing to Black Country Rangers